Drool Drops for Ant Pools
by blahosaurus
Summary: He knew what the word 'diary' meant, and he knew what would probably happen if he read it, but things just didn't go as expected... Complete


_**Drool Drop for Ant Pools**_

It was burning his hands like a sin. He had to read it. That Y chromosome implored it. Not demon, not human, just man's instinct to read books with the word _Diary_ etched on the front. He looked around Kagome's room with shifty eyes and a tense position. The curtain fluttered placidly in mocking calm.

Obviously, he deduced, she only wrote in her own era. Inu-yasha had never seen the book at home. And the Feudal Era lacked the necessary time and light necessary for such a hobby. It would be ridiculous to waste energy and time better spent sleeping, and no one would have liked to see her straining her eyes in any case.

But…_still_…that didn't mean she didn't write about her 'adventures' in the Feudal Era. With him. _About_ him.

Ok, his hands were really itching now.

It was closed with a ribbon, which seemed quite asinine, but, hey, who was he to complain the modern ways of Kagome's world? She _had_ hidden it away at the back of her drawer, where she kept the play-dough. Man, did he love that play dough. It felt so…squishy.

He shook his head. He really did have problems with his attention span.

_Just open it already! Are you a demon or a human?_

_Er…neither. _

It was times like this when it paid to have a permanent identity crisis.

_Don't open it!_ The human side of him said in a rather wimpish and feminine version of Inu-yasha's voice, which aroused suspicion concerning the question of if the conversation was an actual battle between two sides or Inu-yasha simply talking to himself in his head. _She'll kill you! You know how scary she is when flames start shooting from the ground…_

_Oh shut-up you cry-baby! Open the damn book already! She's sexy when she's mad anyways!_

…

_That just slipped out._

Yep, definite schizophrenic problem. He sighed. Things were so hard for him. He _deserved_ this. To…to…invade Kagome's privacy for his amusement just because he was a half-breed and everybody hated him. Well, ok, maybe if put as thus it didn't sound as convincing, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that he was starting to sweat from looking at the stupid book.

He looked around again and turned so his back was against the door.

_Open it_

_Put it back!_

_Open it!_

_Put it back!_

_Ope-_

"Ok, ok, sheesh." He placed the book on the ground. Softly, carefully.

Maybe he should be re-thinking this…

He shook his head. If Kagome didn't want her innermost feelings known, why the hell would she write them down? It was bound to be found by the person you were hiding them from. Especially if put right where he always played. The 'toy box'.

_Something smells fishy._

_That's just Buyo. I think he farted._

He shook his head again, ignoring his human side which squealed at the feel of floppy, furry, adorable dog-ears swaying atop his hair.

He looked Looking at the slick, crimson ribbon with mounting glee.

His hand twitched in anticipation.

This was it. He was going to find out if all those nights thinking about her, wishing he were holding her instead of deforming his ass with branches, were going to pay off.

This was the moment he found out if Kagome loved him _back_.

He tapped his fingers against each other and laughed rather evilly and, in one quick movement, he sliced through the binding ribbon with precise accuracy.

The ribbon pooled beside the diary like a river of blood.

_A bad omen?_

…_Nah!_

He looked at the shut door one more time before turning back as he trembled with giddiness, giggling like a school girl as he fisted his hands together below his chin.

His demon side put his metaphorical, shaking head on his metaphorical hands.

Oh, dear…

He reached for the book with agonizing slowness.

Getting closer…

Closer...

_Closer…_

And then he heard a noise outside.

Now, the normal reaction to this would be to stuff the diary under the bed, in a drawer, even out the window or, if you are above the level of retardedness, in your kimono, all the while with a very guilty un-guilt look on your face. But, of course, Inu-yasha has never been normal.

He looked around frantically…

_The door knob started turning…_

His breaths came in pants…

_The door was opening…_

Hell knows no fury like a woman's scorn!

_A creak, the tip of a shoe…_

Oh god oh god oh god…

And…

"Inu…yasha? What in the name of all that is holy are you doing?" Kagome looked at him like the place he belonged was in a very tight straightjacket.

Inu-yasha looked up at her with wide, puppy looking, golden eyes, sitting on his haunches like a dog. His hands were holding one end of the diary, while the other was trying to be stuffed, unsuccessfully, into his mouth…

Drops of drool hit the floor as they slobbered off the book.

"Ights noght light ight looght light!" He tried to articulate. Kagome gave him a dead pan look. With a sigh, a shake of her head, and trying very hard not to burst out laughing at the sight of him, she moved to her bed and deposited her clean clothes on the mattress. Inu-yasha followed her moves with his eyes, mouth starting to hurt after being extended so long.

Kagome turned around to look at him, biting her lip in an attempt to hold back her smile.

"Inu-yasha…can you take my diary out of your mouth? Please," she asked. Slowly, carefully, he did as asked, and with a squelch of saliva it was put on the wooden floor.

"Er…" Inu-yasha blushed profusely as Kagome smiled at him.

_She's gonna kill me she's gonna kill me she's gonna kill me…_

"Did you read it?" Her voice brought him crashing back to earth.

"Huh?" He said smartly. Her smile widened unnervingly.

"Did you read my diary?" she rephrased. Inu-yasha's eyes widened in horror.

"No! no, I was just…cleaning…your…room…" He nodded at his own idiocy. Kagome smiled.

"_Okay_…I'm going to go down to pick up the rest of my clothes and get a snack or something, so I'm going to take a while. Don't move!" And with that she floundered out of the room. Inu-yasha stared at the doorframe dumbly.

How stupid could that girl get? She had left him there, with the diary, and hadn't even sat him! He looked at the now wet book with a hungry look in his eyes.

_I don't think we should open it. I mean…Something just isn't right…_

_Oh, shut up human side! Go on, read it!_

Inu-yasha, being a few shards away from a Shinkon jewel, opened the book and read her first passage.

He had to start somewhere…

_Dear diary,_

_These things are so stupid. I don't have time for this. I don't know what my aunt was thinking. I'm 16 for God's sake! I'm old enough to remember things! And it's not like I'm going to write my innermost feelings here, just so snooping hanyous can read them_

Gulp

_So I'm just going to put you away, sorry. Maybe some day I'll give you to my daughter (if I have one) who knows!_

_Oh, and by the way, I'm madly in love with a man named Kouga_

He growled savagely. Kouga! It hurt somewhere deep in his chest. His ears drooped

_Yes, he's so handsome, strong, brave…_

He skipped the next paragraph of how oh-so-wonderful Kouga was. Didn't she just write she wasn't going to write her innermost feelings in here? And then he caught sight of his name…

_How does that make you feel Inu-yasha?_

Oh-oh.

_I'm going to cut your ears off and use them as earmuffs!_

His ears twitched involuntarily.

_How dare you! I'm going to-_

The next **several **passages were too slobbered to read. Inu-yasha sighed in relief.

…_Where the sun don't shine! Now get off my back about Kouga! And Hojo_

He growled. Hobo the homosexual, he was too weak for her!

_Ok? Ok. Oh, and by the way, I'm probably standing right behind you. Bye!_

He froze at the last sentence. It all smelt so much like Kagome he couldn't smell Kagome!

He slowly turned around to look over his shoulder, and surly enough, there was Kagome, arms crossed and hip to one side. He gulped.

"Er…hee, hee…it…wasn't me?" He tried. Kagome smiled, and Inu-yasha shuddered at the sight of it.

_I told you so…_ A voice at the back of his mind huffed. He ignored it.

Here it comes

"Inu-yasha!"

Bye-bye new wooden floor…

"S…"

Just get it over with…!

"Stop wasting time and let's go!" She stuffed the clothes in her bag and smiled secretly.

_I'll make him pay later…_

_OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo_

A/N- I couldn't resist, I had to write this. I hope I don't offend anyone who's written one of those diary fics, or those who keep a diary since I myself have a journal, but the idea of Inu-yasha salivating over the book just had my fingers typing! If you have gotten this far, can you please review, it'll take you a fraction of what it took me to write this, when I really should be writing CT. If you don't I'll send my fat dog over and she'll eat your socks. And then throw them up on you…**this is a one-shot by the way!)**

Disclaimer- I own nothing which is not mine.


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